Thursday 7 January 2016

'F**king kill me': Kristen Stewart says split from Robert Pattinson was still 'incredibly painful' two years after her affair with Rupert Sanders

She may have been the cause, but she certainly felt the effect.

Kristen Stewart has admitted her break-up with Robert Pattinson was still 'incredibly painful' two years after after her affair that caused it.

Speaking to the Daily Beast about filming her new love story with Nicholas Hoult, the 25-year-old said she drew on the still raw emotions of the split that happened back in July 2012.



Open wound: Kristen Stewart has admitted her break-up with Robert Pattinson was still 'incredibly painful' two years after after her affair that caused it

'It was incredibly painful,' she said. 'Ugh, f**king kill me.'

In Equals, Stewart and Hoult fall in love in a future where emotions are outlawed.

Filming began in August 2014, after both actors had been through high profile break-ups, because of which Stewart claimed it was 'a really good time for both of us to make this movie'.

But while the X-Men star's split from Jennifer Lawrence had come that same month, Stewart's public apology to Pattinson after being photographed cosying up to Snow White And The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders had played out 25 months earlier.



Experience: Speaking about filming Equals, her new love story with Nicholas Hoult, the 25-year-old said she drew on the still raw emotions of the split that happened back in July 2012

'Not all of my friends have been through what I've been through,' Stewart claimed. 'Everything that we did was explorative, and a meditation on what we already knew.

'We all felt akin by how much we've been through, and to utilize that is so scary,' she continued. 'And to acknowledge it, reassess, and jump back into it? Usually you want to move on. But at least we could use some of that for some good.'

The actress claimed that her romantic arc with Hoult in the sci-fi romantic drama should serve to remind people who have been through heartbreak that it is possible to love again.



Timeline: While the X-Men star's split from Jennifer Lawrence had come that same month, Stewart's public apology to Pattinson after being photographed cosying up to Snow White And The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders had played out 25 months earlier.

'If you've been hurt—you know when you've broken up with someone and you look at someone walking down the street holding hands and think, "Ugh, give it a f**kin' year. Let me know how you feel in a year, ugh, I don't' believe in that".

'Well if we did our jobs right, then it would be to remind you that you can definitely get back to that, and how hard, amazing, and life-fulfilling those feelings were in the very beginning.'

Despite still suffering emotional pain two years on, the Twilight star said she would never take medication to deal with it, and said she finds the concept of antidepressants 'bizarre'.

'As far as we know, you have one shot at this and it can be so f**king beautiful, so why lessen the feeling of anything?' she said. 'Why numb yourself? I'm not on antidepressants. I think it's bizarre.'



Been there: The Twilight star said she and Hoult 'felt akin by how much we've been through'

She also revealed she had her first kiss when she was 14 and it was 'repulsive'.

'It was horrible! It was so bad. It was f**king repulsive. I was 14 and it was gross. It was not good,' she laughed.

'But the first time something in you opens up and affects your entire body and has this control over you, it's scary because there's this chemical that's released that you become addicted to. It literally feels like you don't have free will anymore. I know that f**king feeling.'



Scandal: Kristen infamously had an affair with her married Snow White And The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. He has since divorced from Liberty Ross (who he is pictured with in 2012)

Stewart also said said she felt 'really bad' for Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who denied a same-sex couple their marriage license, was sent to jail and was then released.

'Honestly, it makes me so deeply uncomfortable. I feel really bad for her,' she said. 'Anyone who's so closed off to things that are so apparent? Imagine what else she's missing out on in life.

'I'm not making any grand statements about her personally, but if something so glaringly obvious... That fear of the unknown cripples people, breeds hate, and it's just very sad.'



What doesnt kill you: The actress claimed that her romantic arc with Hoult - who split from his X-Men co star in August last year - should serve to remind people who have been through heartbreak that it is possible to love again

Robert Pattinson's Dior deal has 'profound' effect: He moisturizes

Robert Pattinson's rough-around-the edges image is slowly dissipating. And we can be grateful to luxury fashion brand Dior for that.

Girls around the world latched on to the British actor thanks to his alter ego -- "Twilight" vampire heartthrob Edward Cullen, a clean-cut dreamboat of a bloodthirsty, undead man. And, well, RPattz, a lovably scruffy actor, appears to be resurrecting that image in the Dior Homme fragrance campaign, which debuted abroad (and online) in September. (Dior Homme Eau for Men will go on sale in the U.S. in February.)

"I was a brush-your-teeth-and-have-a-shower kind of guy," Pattinson, 27, told the Wall Street Journal. "I can't tell if it's because of my association with Dior or because I'm older, but I've started moisturizing. It's been a quite profound change in my life."

He's still got that self-deprecating charm, though. That hasn't gone anywhere.

"I like trying to do ambitious things," he said of teaming up with "violent and visceral" director Romain Gavras. Gavras directed the short film for Dio, which featured a brooding Pattinson reveling in what we believe to be the ultimate Dior-man lifestyle.


"That's what got me really enthusiastic about the campaign, that [Dior] wasn't shying away from anything," he said.

The campaign will make its official debut with American audience in February, when the ad airs during the Olympics, the WSJ said.

"This year, I'm trying to see what my niche is," the actor said.

And perhaps that has something to do with the aftermath of his breakup with "Twilight" costar Kristen Stewart? Pattinson recently unloaded his spacious Los Feliz home on "The Big Bang Theory" star Jim Parsons for $6.375 million, according to Hot Property. He listed the home in October 2013, several months after his May 2013 split with Stewart, with whom he shared the love nest.

In 2014, we'll see the result of his reteaming with "Cosmopolis" director David Cronenberg for "Maps to the Stars," which he described as a "darkly comedic Hollywood satire ghost story."

Pattinson is currently filming Werner Herzog's Gertrude Bell biopic, "Queen of the Desert," and has completed David Michod's drama "The Rover." He's also set to play photojournalist Dennis Stock in Anton Corbijn's "Life."